Women Walking in FREEDOM

I was raised in a Christian home. My Mom was Catholic and my Dad was Baptist. We went to early Mass, then went back home and ate hot fresh donuts almost every Sunday. My dad would then drop us kids off at Baptist Sunday school. So, I was actually raised Catholic and Baptist…..there’s a reason for my craziness! Haha! I was saved on Father’s Day at the Baptist church. I knew at age 13 that I was a sinner that needed a Savior.

Romans 3:23 - For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God

I started reading a chapter of the Bible every night before I went to sleep and I started talking to Jesus every day. I had a personal relationship with Him, but I wasn’t crazy in love with my Savior yet.

In my high school years I had a boyfriend at age 15. I was engaged at 17. My fiancé talked me into doing several sexual acts that I was not comfortable in doing. (this would come back to haunt me in my mid-twenties….this pattern of sinful submission) I had premarital sex with my fiancé and cried the first several times because I knew I had sinned, but each time I sinned in this manner, I became less and less sad about my sin; my heart was becoming calloused. We married at 18 and started having kids at 20. I began backsliding hard around age 24 and followed my husband into a very dark path of sin - a downward spiral of sexual sin in our marriage bed.

I never knew that a husband and a wife could have sinful sex in their marriage bed. I had never heard about this from anyone. I never heard it taught from the pulpit and I never heard other Christian women sharing anything about what had happened to me in my marriage bed. 

Maybe if I would have been warned, I may have chosen differently. I was very naive, and unknowledgeable concerning the enemies tactics. I had no idea of what “my flesh” was capable of, but when you start feeding it, the flesh only becomes hungrier.

After months and months of following my first husband down a dark path, temptation then was conceived in my own life, which gave birth to sin, and then when the sin became full grown, it led to death - the death of me and the death of my marriage. 

James 1:14 -15 But each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

I wasn't forced to go down this dark path; I chose to slowly walk down it. 

As I hung out in the playground of sin, Jesus was there with me. As I dangled my feet in the darkness of hell, He was still there, holding my hand. He NEVER let me go.

Deut 31:8 - The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.

Even when Romans 1 was played out in my real life, Jesus was still there with me, through it all.

Romans 1:24 - 26 Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen. Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones.

Romans 1:28 - Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done.

I rededicated my life back to the Lord at age twenty-seven, and very sadly my first marriage ended in divorce.

But for the GRACE of God — To Jesus, I was His perfect child that He loved unconditionally, no matter what. He didn’t see me in my sin because He dealt with my sin when He hung on the cross. He became my Savior on Father’s Day when I was a teenager. He knew then what sins I was going to commit years and years later.

Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Once I rededicated my life back to Him, I fell madly and passionately in love with Him. He became my whole world. Now my every day is aimed to please Him.

It wasn’t all cherry blossoms and roses when I came back to Him. Jesus had to teach me A LOT, and do A LOT of healing in my life. I had to learn to retrain my mind. I had to learn how to bring every thought into captivity for Christ.

2 Corinthians 10:5 - We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

I had to plant His Words deep into my heart, in order for my life to really change. Memorization of scripture became a #1 priority in my life.

Psalm 119:11 - I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.

Jesus is my refuge. He is my ever present help in time of trouble. His Mercies are new EVERY MORNING!

Isaiah 1:18 - Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the LORD. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.

Luke 7:47 - “I tell you, her sins—and they are many—have been forgiven, so she has shown me much love

2 Corinthians 5:17 - Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

I thought I could just play a little fantasy game with my first husband, and everything would be ok. I didn't really want to play that game but I did it anyway; oh, the deception of the enemy! The Lord has given us His love letter, filled with great truths, and His Word tells us that our flesh is capable of anything, and to think otherwise, is foolish. 

I now know what my flesh is capable of. I cling to the Lord daily and I know that I have to daily feed my spirit. I have to continually fill myself up with Jesus Christ. Fill up in His Word. My daily goal is to fall more in love with Jesus TODAY, than I was yesterday. When my head hits the pillow tonight, I want to love Him more than I did last night. 

I now have a burden to cry out to other women, "Be Warned! Don't make the same  mistakes that I did. Be Careful, and choose every step you take with wisdom. Don't be tricked. Do not be deceived. Keep your marriage bed pure!"